Do we need adverts to tell boys not to abuse girls?

That title is not a rhetorical question.  I really don't know the answer and am curious.

The UK government must think that some young people don't know the boundaries of what is acceptable in their relationships because they spent a lot of money on the This is Abuse campaign with such messages as:

- no means no
- physically attacking your girlfriend is wrong
- rape doesn't always involve physical force
- pressuring a girl into sex is wrong

My first instinct is that the campaign should not have been commissioned for three reasons:

- governments already waste far too much money on ineffective but expensive glossy ad campaigns (think about how much they have ploughed into fruitless healthy eating campaigns, if you will excuse the pun).

- the old libertarian view that issues of personal responsibility, morality and behaviour should be dealt with by society, mainly in families, and governments shouldn't interfere.

- the anti-abuse campaign shouldn't be necessary.  How is it possible that large numbers of British males have got to the age of sexual maturity without knowing that it is wrong to force themselves on girls and try to get their own way by physically hurting them and calling them "slags"?

Obviously there are young (and old) men who act in this way and a lot of rape and domestic violence is unreported so probably more widespread than you think.

However that doesn't mean that the perpetrators are unaware that what they are doing is wrong and they need it explaining to them.  Even in this permissive age little kids are told not to attack their peers and call them names even at pre-school.  It would be pretty chaotic otherwise.

No one gets to talking age without knowing it's wrong to hurt people.  Surely they are not going to need someone to sit down and explain to them that this also applies in the field of relationships?

But perhaps I am wrong and a good number of teens are confused about rape and uncertain about what constitutes  abusive behaviour.  In that case then this very slick and thorough campaign would be justified.

But it's a sad reflection on the state of our society and in particular the nation's parenting skills if the government has to step in and explain to boys that behaviour of the kind acted out in this video is not right:

From our website: Minimum age requirements in Spain

The Age of Consent in Spain

After my recent post about the age limit for seeing a doctor in Spain unaccompanied by your Mum (16 see here), I got one or two queries about age limits. I did a bit of research and collected them together in an article on the Advoco website called "They Grow Up So Fast. Age Limits in Spain".

I didn't know half of them before I began researching the piece and was more than a little surprised by the news that the age of consent was 13, gay or straight. That seems a bit young to me. Most countries around the world go for Britain's 16 or even higher:

http://www.avert.org/age-of-consent.htm

In these liberal days I suppose I should applaud the intent: to let young people decide for themselves when they are ready and leave the law out of it.

There are two arguments for having a higher age of consent though, both of which have some merit:

(1) kids are not emotionally mature enough at 13 to know what they want or to handle the responsibility and complications that come with young love. By letting them loose too young you risk more lives ruined with teenage pregnancies not too mention more STDs.

(2) young teenagers have no protection from sexual predators outside of their age group, either the classic "dirty old men" or fellow teenagers a few years up the food chain. I wonder ifall the liberal intent of parents who favour the lower limit would go out of the window if they saw a 50 year old stranger buying their 13 year old son or daughter a drink and chatting them up.

Being branded a molester is a strong deterrent for men (and women I suppose) making inappropriate advances to young teenagers and pressuring them. It is interesting to note that Jonathan King, the pop impresario jailed for sleeping with 14 and 15 year old boys in the UK, would have had the full blessing of the law in Spain.

Over on the Rock of Gibraltar there is a debate going on in a different direction: the Gib Women's Association want to raise the age of consent from 16 to 18.

http://www.europasur.es/article/gibraltar/703865/feetham/apuesta/por/incrementar/la/educacion/sexual.html